WOMEN IN GERMAN

ANNUAL CABARET 1997

Aptos, California

 Photos assembled by Susan Cocalis*

*I need help with the details. Please contact me at cocalis@german.umass.edu to contribute to this project.

WiG Newsletter Reviews of the Cabaret 1997:

"WIG Cabaret 1997: Texts That Kill Us

On Saturday evening at 9:00 pm transnational time, the WIG cabaret irregulars presented a dramatization of the "multikulti Krimi," Die Frau im Unterhemd, a first-person narrative recorded by the migrant sleuth L.A.A. Senokakalis (a.k.a. Detective Kaka) (Susan Cocalis), who was summoned to the crime scene--an architectural transgression and hotbed of multicultural criminal liminality otherwise known as an "unhomeley house away from home" for transients--in order to solve the case of the transnational, transsexual, transvestic, transgenerational translator Ketzel Oezsieg (Katrin Sieg), who was evidently on his/her/its way to take part in the Miss Hybridity contest as "Miss Mexico-Germany." The body was discovered in the vestibule at ca. 8.50 pm (TNT) by the Hauswarze, Frau Marginalianne Oezgoeoezebeck (Marjanne Gooze), who surmised the cause of death as Dreck am Stecken and promptly called in Detective Kaka and his/her camp aide Keikle Hender-Oezjijjtiof (Heike Henderson) to determine if this were indeed a hom/gyn/idicide or a freak case of "Tuerke des Objekts." With the assistance of Oezgoeoezebeck, the crime team interrogated all of the residents of this unhome, ascertaining their names, occupations, relations to/with the deceased, possible motive, and their positionality vis-a-vis "dreck, dirt, filth, shit, and history," as that seemed particularly relevant to the modus operandi of the perpetrator(s). "In this case, dreck," Detective Kaka concluded, "is knowledge." The suspects included the following, as the team worked its way upwards from the dark environs of the basement to the rareified whiteness of the penthouse at 33,000 feet above sea level.

Emily Helene Oezhahnerty, a visibly pregnant, middle-aged author of travelogs, who was in residence to write her memoir, Berlin in Me and who had engaged the deceased as her meta-language tutor and clerical assistant (Helen Cafferty). She insisted that she enjoyed very cordial relations with him/her/it at the same time that she refused to divulge the paternity of her child. Her goal in Berlin was to live multilingually as the best revenge. She could not provide any other information about the gender of the deceased.

The classico-, aristo-punkers, Hermann von Oezbaelichingen (Mareike Herrmann) and Graetchen von Meringkak (Sabine von Mering), were almost cited for contempt of canonical authorities when they repeatedly answered with irreverent quotes from Goethe and Schiller. They had known the deceased well, by all accounts, from evenings spent in the transbars at major transportation centers like the airport. Just the night before the crime, they had gotten into a brawl with the deceased after having insulted his/her/its Bavarian Lederhose. This scuffle was witnessed by other residents of the unhome, as well as a threatening gesture and a loud "leck mich am Oez!" hurled at him/her/it.

The three fairies in jeans and undershirts--"Dinasaur" Oezbigdoeddi (Dinah Dodds), Jose Oezhuereslin (Joey Horsley), and Louise Oezoyschkak (Luise Pusch)--who were also in Berlin for the Miss Hybridity contest and were therefore Oezfeinde of the deceased (who was heavily favored to win the competition), had witnessed the altercation between the deceased and the aristo-punkers at the transbar the previous night, where they had gone for their belly-dancing lesson with Grandmastress Schade Oezseyhan (Asade Seyhan). If they did not win the talent competition at the beauty pageant, they said they would return to their modeling careers, as a Gross Modell, Dreck Modell, and historical model respectively.

Lothar Oezbaetchoeldir (Leslie Batchelder), a homeopathic airline steward, knew the deceased as a participant in his/her therapeutic, transcendentally meditative "Reading with Lothar" workshops, for he felt that the corpse had been under a lot of stress in recent weeks and encouraged his/her/its inner self/selves. Not only was there the pressure of the Miss Hybridity competition, but Lothar suspected that the deceased had also become involved in amorous intrigues of an unspecified nature, as was befitting his/her/its transgendered sex. In any event, Lothar reported that Oezsieg had had difficulty breathing and that he/she/it had been negligent in taking the herbal remedies he had suggested. Lothat had also passed by the airport transbar the previous evening on his way home from work and had witnessed both the altercation and the belly-dancing fairies in jeans.

Frau Elisabeth Oezkrimmer (Elisabeth Krimmer) and Frau Nele Oezhaempelkin (Nele Hempel), two deutsche Hausfrauen (and proud of it!) --not that there's anything wrong with it, mind you--were also questioned in regard to the corpse. It turned out that they had contacted him/her/it to take Frau Elisabeth's teenage daughter Gisela to the prom but he/she/it had backed out of this commitment at the last moment when he/she/it wasn't allowed to cross-dress or hear his/her/its trademark Lederhose, which left Gisela with an expensive chiffon prom dress but no date. In order to preserve the integrity of the crime scene from their Putzwut, Detective Kaka was forced to abort their interrogation.

One of the more interesting and politically sensitive aspects of the case involved the next suspect, Mrs. Tipper Oezgorekak (an assumed name!) (Lisa Roetzel), who was in Berlin trying to knock up transnational donors for her husband Al's upcoming political campaign. It appears that she also knew the deceased and may have had intimate encounters with him/her/it. At any rate, she was witnessed serenading the corpse with Heine-Lieder("Du bist wie eine Blume..."), while laying a flower on his/her/its breast. Mrs Oezgorekak was especially moved by the fact that the deceased had sent her family a gift dog, albeit of mixed breed, which they had had to return after the special investigation on campaign contributions had declared the gift illegal. As a memento, she had preserved the creature's last "calling card" in a ziploc baggie, which she duly laid to rest with the corpse.

On the top floor in the penthouse resided the last two suspects Albina Tittenberg-Oezklaeusin (Jeanette Clausen) and a somewhat rude Elena von Weissenfels-Oezjoeris (Ruth-Ellen Joeres), in the rarefied atmosphere of intellectual anal retentivenes, a.k.a. Edelscheiss. Both had had very suspicious dealings with the deceased, having loaned the corpse 15 books on whiteness, including the titles: "White? White Not?," "Snow White & the Poisened (sick!) Fruit," "White Like Me," which was Moby Dick from the whale's perspective, et. al.. These volumes had never been returned, een after repeated e-mail admonitions, and the two suspects regretted having entered into such a transaction. These clues were viewed as significant, considering that several volumes of a similar nature wer lying in the vicinity of the corpse.

After collecting this information, Detective Kaka and Assistant Oezkotopf turned the solution over to the audience-jury, since they in no way wanted to be accused of vulgar capitalist individualism by the vulgar Marxists. Besides, it was getting late, and Detective Kaka had to return home to clean, cook a gourmet dinner, have wild sex with a perfect partner, and then write up his/her best-selling mystery novel for the "Transnational, Multicultural, Hybrids in Crime" series published by Medea Press. Upon careful deliberations, the audience overwhelmingly convicted Albina Tittenberg and Elean von Weissenfels of murdering Oezsieg in cold blood by dropping a scholarly tome on his/her/its head from an altitude of 33,000 feet. Thus do texts kill us. In order to ascertain the validity of this charge, the crime team turned to a previously neglected figure on stage, a creature of indeterminate origin in a black trash bag covered with huge pink balloons with red nipples, who turned out to be the gelusly guarded, secretive "Collective Mammary" (Marjorie Gelus), who had observed all of the events of the preceding night in enforced silence. When asked, however, if we had reached the right verdict, the Collective Mammary confessed that he/she/it had forgotten what had transpired and lumbered off the stage.

Respectfully submitted, L.A.A. Senokakalis*

*The L.A.A. is in homage to Leslie A. Adelson, the muse of many WIG cabarets.

Photo Gallery of the 1997 Cabaret assembled by Susan Cocalis:

The transnational, transsexual, transvestic, transgenerational translator Ketzel Oezsieg, a.k.a. the deceased (Katrin Sieg)	HauswarzeFrau Margianialianne Oezgoeoezebek calls in Detective L.A.A. Senokakalis (Susan Cocalis) and assistant Heikle Hender-Oezjijtiof (Heike Henderson)
Emily Helena Oezhahnerty (Helen Cafferty) & Lt. Hender-Oezjijtiof (Heike Henderson) + rollover (S. Cocalis)	Lt. Heikle Hender-Oezjijtiof (Heike Henderson) & Lothar Oezbaetchoeldir (Leslie Batchelder)
The classico, aristo-punkers, Hermann von Oezbaelichingen (Mareike Herrmann) & Graetchen von Mehringkak (Sabine von Mehring) with Heike Henderson in background	The three fairies in jeans & undershirts: Dinahsaur Oezbigdoeddi (Dinah Dodds), Jose Oezhuereslin (Joey Horseley), & Luise Oezoyschkak (Luise Pusch) + Susan Cocalis [rollover]
Frau Elisabeth Oezkrimmer (E. Krimmer) & Frau Nele Oezhaempelkin (Nele Hempel) with Marjanne Gooze in background	Albina Tittenberg (Jeanette Clausen) assaults the detectives (Heike Henderson & Susan Cocalis)
Tipper Gore (Lisa Roetzel) visits Berlin	Albina Tittenberg-Oezklaeusin (Jeanette Clausen) & Elena von Weissenfels-Oezjoeres (Ruth-Ellen Joeres)
The Collective Mammary (Marjorie Gelus)	The audience decides who is guilty.

The cast.